Love Continues to Show Up

I don't want to be one of those parents who only talks about how great their child is (in our case, our "hopefully soon to be child"). So I am going go share one of the challenges today. Pa, Valera, and I walked to a nearby soccer field this afternoon. On the way there I told Valera to "stop" as a car was coming but he crossed the street anyway. I saw a little smirk on his face as he crossed.....confirming that he heard me but chose not to listen. He ran ahead to the field while Pa and I slowly walked the path. We could see him the whole time, and I had the ball in my hands so he couldn't do much until I got there. When I approached him I said the best that I could, in my kind but firm voice, when I say 'stop', you need to 'stop'." 

He walked away and sat on a tree stump. Pa and I kicked the ball for a few minutes then Pa went to talk to Valera. Valera came over and said "sorry" then we all kicked the ball and had a great time. Valera wanted to play him vs. me and Pa. He giggled for 30 minutes straight. He was having such a good time.

Back to the point though...I could share various descriptions like this every night when I post. Each day I am tested in various ways by something Valera has done or said. He has left a peach pit in the couch cushion, drank soda when I told him not to, purposefully dealt the UNO cards such that he would have all "draw fours". He tells me he has washed his hands but when I do the "smell test", I can tell otherwise. None of these things may seem like a big deal - in fact, in and of themselves, they are NOT a big deal.

My dad and I were talking about this subject tonight, after dinner. Pa made a few comments that stuck out to me.  See, when I heard a song months ago at church, one line was "love is on its way". I immediately thought of Valera and wanted to shout from America to Ukraine: "love is on the way sweet boy!" When I thought of this phrase, I thought of it as a one time arrival - the day we picked him up from the orphanage. What my dad reminded me of tonight is that "love is on the way every day". Isn't this true for all parents? 

Well, it especially is for the parent of an orphan.  Valera has never been shown consistent, unconditional love. He doesn't know what it means to depend on someone. He has learned to "fend for himself". As much bonding as I like to think that we have been doing, we are still like strangers to him. How does he know that we will be kind to him? How does he know that he can trust us? How does he know that we will love him even when he disobeys?

I don't know the answers to these questions. But I think my dad is on to something. Especially in the life of an orphan, love has to "show up" every day, all day. And God-willing, one day at a time, Valera will truly experience what it means to be loved and to love.

(Please continue to lift us all up in prayer as you think of us. Ted will fly back to Ukraine tomorrow, although we will not see him until Wednesday night or Thursday morning. Please pray for travel mercies for him.)