As my dad and I laid on his bed tonight, reflecting on the day and on Valera, my dad said, "didn't it warm your heart to hear him call you 'Mom'?"
Yes, it did. Only a handful of times has he called me "mom". When he has, it's usually in a conversation. For example, he will say: "one apple for me, one for Pa, one for Mom".
Tonight, I was in the kitchen playing solitaire (that sounds sad but I actually was enjoying myself). Valera was down the short hall in the living room. He had a question about something on the iPad and called out, "MOM!" as he walked toward the kitchen.
What my dad noticed was that it sounded so natural tonight, so confident.
Again, I am so grateful for my dad....helping me to live in the present, cherishing the moment.
We had some good laughs tonight...me and my dad. We talked about how the trip to Ukraine is harder than either of us expected it to be. My dad, ever the optimist, shared though that everything in regards to Valera, is easier than he thought it would be. Pa thinks that Valera is more personable than he expected, that it's easier to communicate with him than expected, that Valera is sharper than he expected, etc.
Before Pa could continue on with another affirming comment about Valera, I said, "you had no idea that I would be the more challenging person to take care of, did you?"
We belly laughed.....I have always said to Ted...."you think it's tough to be married to me. Think of what it is TO BE ME!" Now the saying is, "you think it's tough to be my dad....." (you know how that one ends).
Of course my dad brushed my comments aside....affirming me, and building me up. During this time, I shared with my dad that all day long I repeated the verse from the book of Jeremiah, "for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future". I filled in Valera's name and repeated the verse, "I know the plans I have for Valera, declares the Lord, plans to give him a hope and a future".
Never has this verse been so alive for me. God knows the plan. I do not. My job is to trust the plan.
So as I end another day in Ukraine, I thank the Lord that I get to be Valera's mom, AND that I get to be Jim McNamee's daughter.
I love Pa so much and I don't even know him!!
ReplyDelete"As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him."
karol
STOP MAKING ME CRY! Lis... this is a documentary! You might win a golden globe!!!! You are the most insightful person I know and one of the BEST!
ReplyDeleteLisa!!! I finally remembered you had a blog! I have been thinking of you daily and so anxious to hear how you are....then it was all here, like a treasure chest! what an amazing journey. I can't imagine all you have experienced and been through. your words are so encouraging, challenging and inspiring!! Love you and can't wait to have you back in the states with your son!
ReplyDeletesuzi
Lisa,
ReplyDeleteThis is touching me in ways I can't even articulate. Your dad is demonstrating the love of The Father, and what a beautiful love story it is. That God would allow us to call Him "Abba, Father," essentially "Daddy," has always brought me such comfort. I don't remember much about my dad, but I have such a visual picture of climbing into Jesus' lap and calling Him, "Daddy." I am so glad that your physical dad can be there with you to calm you and comfort you, encourage you and strengthen you, to share life with you and be a physical reminder of the relationship we have with Jesus. Romans 8:15-16: "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship (or adoption). And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children." So by adoption, God is your Father, and by adoption you are Valera's mom and he is your son. This is so amazing. Again, what a beautiful picture of God's love for us. Love you!
Rochelle