Home sweet home

We made it home safe and sound. We knew that my sister's family was picking us up in Dulles but were super surprised to see my mom, Ted, Delaney and Mary Kate. We were so very excited and overwhelmed with emotion.

We had a great ride home to Virginia Beach. We sat in traffic, it was raining, we were exhausted....but all was right in the world in the presence of our family.

Valera noticed on the ride home that he had a watch on, and that Mary Kate and I did too. He pointed to Delaney and noticed that she did not have a watch on.

Keep this in mind as I tell you that he has been carrying around a 20 dollar bill in his pocket for weeks. At any chance he pulls out the 20 to show people....complete strangers even. He is so proud of this 20.

So, back to the car ride. When he realized that Delaney did not have a watch while the rest of us did, he pulled out the 20 dollar bill and explained through hand motions that he would buy her one with his money.

An already emotional day, in that moment, became even more emotional.

The first 24 hours or so have gone very well. We have swam, gone on a family bike ride or 2 or 3 or 4. We went to Mary Kate's soccer game, had a family dinner, watched a movie, popped popcorn.

I think Valera is so brave. I can't even imagine how wonderful this is for him, and how hard it is for him all at the same time.

Thanks again for your prayers, love and support. They continue to help me in more ways than I can say.

As the girls' shirts said on the day we got home, "Love is here!"

Last Day in Ukraine

It is no coincidence that my devotion today was exactly what I needed to hear and to be reminded of:

"Go gently through this day, leaning on Me and enjoying My presence. Thank Me for your neediness, which is building trust-bonds between us. If you look back on your journey thus far, you can see that days of extreme weakness have been some of your most precious times. Memories of these days are richly interwoven with golden strands of My intimate Presence."

As I look forward to going home tomorrow, I pray that I don't lose the tight grip I have on God.  I have never had to rely on Him as much as I have during the past 49 days.  I have only just begun to learn what it really means to trust Him. I hope that I do not let the comfort of America, and suburban life distract me from my total dependence on God.

This whole journey has been about following God's will. I pray for the strength and courage to continue the work He has begun. Please join me in praying for Valera, as he adjusts to life in America, and to life in a family...the Miller family.

Ted, Delaney, and Mary Kate....I just may tackle you all when I see you tomorrow.

Back in Kiev

We said our goodbyes at the train station. Some of us cried more than others. I will let you guess who that was.

We got back to Kiev at about midnight last night. Got to sleep a little after 1 am. We shared an apartment with another family from New York. They adopted a 16 year old girl from Valera's orphanage.  Oksana and Valera enjoyed being together.

We had to get up at 7 am to start our day. Oksana's dad and I went to the US Embassy to apply for Visas.  We loved being with English speaking people.

From there, we went to the medical center to have Oksana and Valera checked out. We spent a few hours there.

We checked into new apartments this afternoon.  Look forward to more sleep tonight.

Tomorrow we are going back to the Embassy.

Please continue to pray for us.  We are praying for you.

We Are Off

We will be leaving in about an hour and I don't know when I will have Internet access again.  Thank you for caring about us and for praying for us. Please continue to do so.

I thought I would leave you for now with a funny story or two.

A few weeks ago Pa, Valera and I went to play some soccer. We stopped at a roadside stand on the way home to get some lunch and some drinks. Pa and I needed Valera to do some ordering for us as the employee did not speak English.  Valera ordered our food and continued talking with the employee. I could tell that she asked Valera, "who are these people?" and I am most certain that Valera responded with:

"oh, some Americans!"

It has become a running joke as we shared this story with Anya and Den.

Hopefully, as time continues on, we have become and will continue to become much more than "some Americans".

Last night, Den and Anya gave Valera a clever gift...a soccer referee's kit...including a whistle and two plastic cards (red and yellow).  My dad and I joked that we could use the cards to explain to Valera when his behavior was becoming inappropriate. We could hold up the yellow as a caution, a red when we were at our limit.

Valera has a small nerf gun that he likes to shoot, he isn't always careful about where he shoots. Yes, that would require a red card!

And most definitely, if he refers to us again as "some Americans", I am pulling out the red card!

Last Full Day in Donetsk

We went ice skating one last time today, then Anya and Den came over to be with us on our last night. As a reminder, Anya has been our adoption facilitator/translator and Den has been our driver. Just so happens, Anya and Den are dating. They met in Christian Seminary in Kiev. They have been so great to us. Anya has really helped me with so much...more than she gets paid to do, I am sure. She has been a great listener to me as we have walked in and out of buildings, eaten meals, driven hundreds of miles, and signed countless documents.

She is the total opposite of me. She is care-free, free-spirited.  She recently said to my dad, in her Russian accent, "your daughter thinks too much...about nothing".  We cracked up. Didn't take her long to figure me out.

Den is awesome too. He told us the first day we met him that he knows 10 words in English. Tonight he told us that we helped him become fluent! He has been a great male role model for Valera....not that my dad and Ted haven't been..but Den can speak his language. All Den has needed to do is drive us from point a to point b.  But he has taken the extra steps to teach Valera what it means to have "good character", what it means to honor your parents. Den also likes rap music. He downloaded Christian rap music (in Russian) on our laptop and tonight helped me buy some songs on iTunes - Russian rap music (with no bad words).

Den and Anya have become quite special. It will be easy to say goodbye to Donetsk, but hard to say goodbye to them.

Tomorrow we have some more paperwork to do. We will pick up Valera's passport then will get on a high speed train to Kiev at 4:50 p.m. We should get to Kiev at midnight.

Please pray for Valera. He told Anya tonight that he is a little nervous about going to America, but is mostly excited. I think he is one brave kid. We have spent over 40 days in this apartment, and have gotten into somewhat of a routine. I am sure it will be hard for him to leave Anya and Den. I appreciate all the prayers you could say for him, and for all of us as we travel to Kiev, then home.

Love, Lisa

Seasons Change

Fall was certainly in the air here today. It was cool, breezy and overcast. We had a nice relaxing day. I actually laid in bed for three hours with a washcloth on my eye, while Valera watched a movie and my dad made some yummy potatoes.

Afterwards, I walked to the grocery store for what should be the last time.

Valera and I played a soccer game on a field outside of our apartment. We made goals out of tree branches. He beat me 10-3.  I tried really hard.  This may have been our last soccer game here in Ukraine. Even if we have the time, we have worn out the ball.

We watched our last soccer game for sure. We went to another Shaktar game. We won 4-1. It was a joy tonight to watch Valera celebrate every goal. He was really into it.

When we got home, the three of us watched Ratatouille. While I am certain we will watch it again, it will be the last time while in Ukraine.

Tomorrow is our last full day in Donetsk. We will leave for Kiev on Tuesday (on an overnight train), spend two days in Kiev then fly home on Friday (assuming that all goes according to plan).

We had a fun Skype session with Ted and the girls last night. Valera held up six fingers and said, "Americ". He wanted to show them all his "tricks" with the ball, and had them listen to his "rap" music. He watched the girls do flips on the trampoline.  Valera seemed excited to be a part of our "family time".  As a friend pointed out to me, the culture shock, language barrier, strange food, etc. will hopefully help me sympathize with him as he adjusts to life in America.

So, just as the weather is changing, this "season" of our journey is about to change. We are preparing for the next phase that will lead us "home". We ask for prayers that we continue to stay healthy, that all logistics fall into place, and most of all....that Valera will do well with the travels and all the change that he will experience.  As I anticipate all that is about to happen, I hold on to the fact that God never changes.

Happy Fall!

An Angel

This is Valera's "aunt" Lana (not Georgia like I thought....translation is everything).  She is Valera's biological father's cousin.  She is an angel in my opinion.

I think it's natural for all of us to think about orphans and wonder "isn't there any family member or friend who could take care of these children?"  I admit I have asked myself that question.  It's easy to do in the comfort of my neighborhood, city, state, and country.  I think you would have to come to Ukraine to see for yourself how these kids stay in orphanages.  The economy is so different here. 

At any rate, I sat across from Lana at a Chinese food restaurant tonight and shed tears of gratefulness.  Although Lana wasn't able to take Valera in as her own, she did what she could for him.  She has visited him at the orphanage every 2-3 months.  She has brought him candy and gifts.  She has loved on him.  She has "shown up" for him in ways that no other relative has.

For that, I am forever grateful.  Lana gave us a lot of information that I am so thankful for.  We hugged goodbye and held onto each other's hands.  Anya translated for us.  I thanked her for loving him and caring so much about him.  She thanked us for all that we are doing. 

Her final words to me were "He needs a lot of compassion.  He has had a hard life." 

Lana, I will hold those words in my heart forever.

Six Week Update

Just when we think we know what's going on, we find out something new. Sometimes it's something simple like that your driver will be 2 hours late, or that when you order "pepperoni" pizza in Ukraine, you get peppers.  Then other times it's something big....like that your new son has been left an apartment in his name.

That's right.  Just when you think things are "wrapping up", you get news like this. 

So today Den and Anya drove us to Valera's birth city, which is where the apartment is.  Ted and I had been there, then I was there on Tuesday, but we needed to go back to do research about the apartment.  Once we arrived in the city (about 2 hours away), Valera started recognizing things. See, Valera was sent to a school when he was six, but went home on the weekends. At the age of nine, his mom lost her rights to care for him at all. That's when he entered the orphanage (his father passed away when he was one- the apartment was owned by his dad).

I share this because it was so special to watch him tell us about the town. He said things like "there's a field over there, that's the hospital, I think I went to school somewhere near here". He even told Den when to turn, to get us to the apartment.  Then when we entered the building, and climbed the stairs to the fifth floor, he had a smile on his face the whole time. We couldn't get into the apartment but we got to see Valera SEE his home. And that was a gift. I wish you could have been here Ted.

As far as the apartment, just to give you an idea about the economy here, is worth about 2,000 dollars.  I am sure it would be worth more if it hadn't been destroyed in a fire, if it had electricity, gas or water....but it was worth everything  to get to picture where he lived.  As we climbed the stairs, I pictured him as a little boy going up all those stairs.  Another gift was that we passed a woman on another floor who recognized Valera.  It was just a blessing to see little tiny glimpses into his past.

Tomorrow we are meeting with Valera's "aunt"....who is actually Valera's biological fathers' cousin.  We hope to learn a lot from her. Valera remembers her. Her name sounds like "Georgia".

We found out today that there is a 99% chance that we can fly home on Friday the 28th. I am waiting on confirmation from Ted that we were able to book three seats.  Please pray that God's will be done. If we can't get seats Friday then we have to wait until Monday, Oct 1st.  I would love to have the weekend to be together.

Our big prayer requests/praises are:
1. My dad's cough is better-yeah!
2. That we can get seats for the 28th
3. That all goes well with Valera's aunt tomorrow
4. That my eye would get better
5. For continued bonding - tonight we watched a movie on the couch. My feet were by his head, and visa versa.  I loved every minute of it.

Fun With Valera

Although this week has been busy with paperwork and running around, I want to share some pictures of the fun we are having with Valera.  One picture is of Pa and Valera playing that game where you try to slap the other person's hands before they move them away.  One is of Valera with his two buds who are also being adopted (Vladik on left, Dema on the right).  You can see that Valera has gotten more comfortable in front of the camera.  :)  That picture was taken last night at the Donetsk Shaktar soccer game.  Shaktar won 2-0.  I am including one picture of Valera's favorite player, the goalie, and another picture of the player who is the inspiration behind Valera's desire for dreadlock/braids.

The one of Valera with his ipod and bag of chips is my favorite (although I'm liking this one of my dad all covered up by Valera as well).  Valera is watching Tom and Jerry, laughing away, and eating his favorite chips....they are so spicy but he LOVES them!

 

 

 

 

 

We were able to apply for his passport today, which was great.  More paperwork tomorrow! 

Hope you all have a great day and a great weekend!

Seek His Face

We had to wake up early again today for another round of paperwork.  Before leaving the apartment, I read my devotional which led me to the following verse, one I do not remember reading before:

Psalm 27:8

My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek.

This is what my heart and mind have been struggling with....my mind thinks too much about the "what ifs and the how in the world?" while my heart strives to lean on God, trust God, believe in His promises.

The first line of my devotion today (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young) says: There is a mighty battle going on for control of your mind.

That is certainly the case in my life.

I had no idea when I read that verse this morning, how much I would lean on it today.

Our first stop was a medical facility for Valera to have his blood drawn.  I had prayed last night and this morning for him, in regards to this. I figure he has not had the exposure to vaccinations, shots, etc. like most children in America. As I fretted for him over this, I was comforted to know that I would be there for him...hold his hand if he needed me to, wipe a tear if necessary.

Anya explained to him on the way there what was going to happen. He told her he was nervous.

The three of us walked into the building, while Pa and Den stayed in the car. We checked in and Valera had that same nervous look he had at court on Sept. 6th.  Fortunately, he was called quickly. I followed behind him and just as he was about to enter the room, he turned around and motioned for me to wait in the hallway.

Oh.  i guess no hand holding or tear wiping.  As I sat down, I thought to myself..."he doesn't want me."

Then the verse above immediately came to my mind. Your face, Lord, I will seek. I realized then how focused I have been on myself over the past 40 days. What if I am not good enough, what if Valera doesn't want me, What if it is too hard for me?" I have been seeking MY face.

I quickly heard God say to me, "he might not want you in this particular situation, or at all, but I want you. I have chosen you to be his mom. This isn't about you feeling good, feeling needed or loved by Valera. This is about you doing what I have called you to do. This is about dying to yourself!"

And I felt His strength fill me up. Something that would have made me cry a few days ago....certainly effected me momentarily, as I am human....but I thought of myself seeking the Lod's face and felt a peace that I know only comes from Him.

We continued on with our day...driving around, doing paperwork. We went to the orphanage for the last time today. More opportunities to meditate on that verse.

Watching Valera's friends see him today......Seek his face.
Watching friends hug all over Valera......Seek His face.
Seeing his friends in the windows waving goodbye.....Seek His face
Wishing there wasn't an orphan in the world....Seek His face.
Crying over the ones left behind...Seek His face.

We drove away. I felt so many mixed emotions. Anya assured me that Valera was probably thinking of the river he can swim across, and the bridge he can jump off of.

We were supposed to apply for his passport today, but the computer systems aren't working. Please pray that they are working in the morning.

We are going to another soccer game tonight, then have another early morning. Thanks for your prayers. I feel them.  My biggest prayer requests are that we can apply for his passport tomorrow, and that I would continue to seek the Lord's face.

Valera James Miller

It's official.  Valera is now a Miller.  We gave him the option of changing his name but he chose to keep "Valera".  We chose "James" as his middle name, in honor of my dad - who is sacrificing a lot to welcome Valera into our family.  So here he is...

Valera James Miller

On our 40th day here in Ukraine, we certainly have a lot to celebrate!  Den said to me, "My Congratulations to you.  Easier than a regular delivery".

I beg to differ my friend!  :) 

Praises to the Lord for such a great day.  We arrived at the birth certification center at noon, as they were about to go on lunch.  They took us anyway.  We arrived at the center to get his "Id number" (like a social security number) 8 minutes after they closed.  They are closed for some reason tomorrow so I was discouraged.  Anya worked some magic - actually, the Lord worked a blessing via Anya, and we were able to get Valera's ID number. 

Praising the Lord for a great day!

Tangled

Thank you for your prayers. I woke up at 8:15 for church. I tried to wake Valera up. He is not a morning person on the best of days but I knew this morning might be especially hard because of the mood in which he went to sleep.

He hid his head under the sheets. My dad and I decided I would go to church and my dad would stay home with Valera. I told Valera that plan, and with his head still under the sheets, he said, "sorry Mom". I climbed on his bed and gave him a big hug, while even his head was still under the sheets. I told him it was okay and that I loved him very much. He hugged me back, through the sheets, with his head still under them and said, "I love you too."

Sniffle. Sniffle.

When I got back from church, Valera kept saying, "sorry tomorrow, sorry tomorrow".  What I realized he was saying was "sorry for yesterday".

We had a quiet day. My dad took over for the day while I put a hot was cloth on my eye, napped, prayed, got "still".

While I was laying in the bed, I was thinking about the movie 'Tangled'. Valera loves to watch movies- in Russian or English. We have watched Ratatouille (more times than I care to count), Superman, Shrek, Toy Story 1, 2, and 3.  His new favorite is Jungle Book.  We have watched Tangled a few times as well.  I can really relate to Rapunzel, who is trapped up in a tower, by a mean woman who uses Rapunzel's magic hair to stay young.  This woman stole Rapunzel from the king and queen, when she was just a baby. At any rate, one day Flinn Ryder enters her tower and promises to help her see the lanterns on her birthday. This means she will leave the tower for the first time in her life.

Rapunzel lets down her hair and slides down it....experiencing all these adventures for the first time. One minute Rapunzel is swinging around a tree saying "this is the best day of my life". In the very next scene, Rapunzel is face down in the grass saying, "I am a dispicable daughter...how could I do this to her? " Next scene....Rapunzel is running, skipping, and jumping saying she'll never go back to the tower. Next scene....Rapunzel is beating herself up for disobeying her "mother".  All the while, Flinn Ryder is just twiddling his thumbs as she rides her emotional roller coaster.

And there you have it.....We are "trapped" in Ukraine and I am "tangled" in my own web of emotions. One minute feeling complete peace that we are obeying God's will for our lives, the next minute thinking, "how will we do this?" Then reminding myself of God's words....He will strengthen me, He has a plan for us.  All the while, Jim McNamee plays the role of Flinn Ryder watching ME ride my emotional roller coaster.  I have said before - it's not an easy job.

Please keep praying for us. This is a big week. Tuesday we go back to court...to mark the end of the 10 day waiting period.  We will also go to Valera's birth city to get a new birth certificate. We will go to his orphanage to have a goodbye party. Valera's grandmother and aunt would also like to say goodbye to him.  We have to apply for a passport as well. Once we get the passport, we will travel back to Kiev for our Embassy appointment and medical clearance for Valera.

So although we pray that we are in the homestretch, we have a lot to do. My energy is running low. My dad and I combined have probably lost 20 pounds. I am definitely low on nutrients, among other things.

On top of everything else, mosquitoes or flies of some sort come out every night and fly around our heads. It's like torture. Truly.

I share this so that you can know how to pray for us. We are so grateful. We really are.

Please pray

Remember all the Berenstein Bear books....Berenstein bears and too much tv, to much birthday, too much junk food, etc? Well, today might have been "Valera and Too Much".  As he is acting out, going to bed angry, sleeping on the couch, etc...my initial instinct, my human nature is to react with the attitude of "isn't he appreciative of all we did today?" 

But as my dad and I reflected.....maybe it was too much. As hard as all of this is on me and my dad, I am especially mindful tonight of how hard this all must be on Valera.

I don't want to give all the details of what set him off, but please pray for him. Please pray for me, that I would have a spirit of self control and love. 

My eye really hurts. Anya's mom is a doctor and suggested certain eye drops. I started them last night. Please pray that the drops work. As you can relate, everything is harder to deal with when you don't feel your best.

Please please pray for an extra measure of strength and courage for me.

UNO

Here are some pictures from our UNO games.  Valera likes to make sure everyone is comfortable at all times.  You can see that he covered Pa up for the game, and brought snacks for each of them.

Isn't he sweet?

Today we  played more football, I walked the track at the university while my dad continued to play with Valera.  I got another "shot" on the shin and needed some time to recover.

Tonight we met up with the family who is adopting Vladik, and another boy named Dema.  I will post pictures tomorrow of that "reunion".  Valera was so happy to see his friends.  Dema got to leave the orphanage today - it was special to watch Valera interact with his friends, in his language.  He was so happy to share candy with them, while Vladik and Dema were dividing their gum amongst the three of them.

There's a lot to learn by watching boys who have grown up together in an orphanage together....it's a brotherly love like no other.

More on Valera's Personality

Just thought I would share a few things/stories with you, in regards to what we are learning about Valera.

1. He likes rap music.

2. He would like to have dread lock/braids in his hair (like one of the Shaktar soccer players).

3. His teachers say he doesn't like to do work.

Are you scared for us yet?  

4. He has the most contagious laugh.

5. He is picking up on English phrases. Just today he said "oh my goodness", "back to me" (after putting down a reverse card in UNO), and best of all....he said "I love you" to Delaney during our Skype session. It's the first time I have heard him say those words. That made Delaney's day. Mine too.

6. He has a hard time making decisions, or verbalizing what he wants. For example, if you ask him if he wants pizza or a hamburger he shrugs his shoulders (even when Anya asks him in Russian). Anya and Den are really trying to help him with this. He probably hasn't had many decisions to make in his life.

7. He definitely keeps an eye out for the amount of food in the apartment. He told Anya that he was getting worried that we were running out. He likes these chicken links...they look like hot dogs. We only had one left and he didn't want to eat it....because then we wouldn't have anymore. I assured him we could buy more at the store. He was so happy. Then just today we were at the mall looking for a goalie shirt for him. He was being indecisive again about which shirt he liked and truthfully, we couldn't find his size. So we moved on to the food court where we ate while Valera ice skated again. Anya told me then that during the goalie shirt looking, Valera said to her, "I don't want them to spend money on a shirt, and not have enough money for food". Poor baby.

8. He is so thoughtful. We were playing UNO with my dad. My dad laid a card down, said "UNO", then it was my turn, then Valera's. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Valera had a "draw four". But he put down a different card so my dad could win. Valera doesn't have that kind of mercy on me, but I am assuming that since my dad was new to the game, he was being gentle.

9. He is kind. The director of his orphanage, and the social worker both said they are glad Valera is getting adopted...that he is a "sweet boy".

10. He loves Sprite. But he pronounces it "Sprime". He says, "me love Sprime". Anya corrects him. I think it's cute.

I am so thankful for your prayers. I can feel them. Although we are both improving, please continue to pray for my eye, my dad's cough, for both of our energy levels to stay up, for the logistics to continue to work out according to God's will. Please pray for Delaney who isn't feeling well, for Mary Kate who says "homework stinks", and for Ted who is trying to keep a lot of balls in the air.

He Calls Me Mom

As my dad and I laid on his bed tonight, reflecting on the day and on Valera, my dad said, "didn't it warm your heart to hear him call you 'Mom'?"

Yes, it did. Only a handful of times has he called me "mom". When he has, it's usually in a conversation. For example, he will say: "one apple for me, one for Pa, one for Mom".

Tonight, I was in the kitchen playing solitaire (that sounds sad but I actually was enjoying myself). Valera was down the short hall in the living room. He had a question about something on the iPad and called out, "MOM!" as he walked toward the kitchen.

What my dad noticed was that it sounded so natural tonight, so confident.

Again, I am so grateful for my dad....helping me to live in the present, cherishing the moment.

We had some good laughs tonight...me and my dad. We talked about how the trip to Ukraine is harder than either of us expected it to be. My dad, ever the optimist, shared though that everything in regards to Valera, is easier than he thought it would be. Pa thinks that Valera is more personable than he expected, that it's easier to communicate with him than expected, that Valera is sharper than he expected, etc.

Before Pa could continue on with another affirming comment about Valera, I said, "you had no idea that I would be the more challenging person to take care of, did you?"

We belly laughed.....I have always said to Ted...."you think it's tough to be married to me. Think of what it is TO BE ME!" Now the saying is, "you think it's tough to be my dad....." (you know how that one ends).

Of course my dad brushed my comments aside....affirming me, and building me up.  During this time, I shared with my dad that all day long I repeated the verse from the book of Jeremiah, "for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future".  I filled in Valera's name and repeated the verse, "I know the plans I have for Valera, declares the Lord, plans to give him a hope and a future".

Never has this verse been so alive for me. God knows the plan. I do not. My job is to trust the plan.

So as I end another day in Ukraine, I thank the Lord that I get to be Valera's mom, AND that I get to be Jim McNamee's daughter.

Double Stuff

Who doesn't love a double stuff Oreo? Ted brought us some from home, on his return trip to Ukraine.Valera discovered them in the cabinet today. He thought they were good before I even introduced the concept of dunking. I poured him a glass of milk and then he REALLY liked them.

Today, Anya, Valera, and I took a walk to the river to play soccer. To get to the park at the river, you have to walk over a bridge. It's a nice scenery, with the river to the sides. It's hard to enjoy the scenery though because you have to be on the lookout for the potholes- but that's not the point of my story.

As we were walking across the long bridge, I listened to Valera talk to Anya. Being the control freak that I am, and the interested mother, I am constantly asking Anya, "what did he say?" Today though I decided I was going to "let go" and just let them have their time in Russian.  Valera was very talkative and I wondered to myself, "maybe he is telling Anya how much he loves us, and how excited he is to be coming to America, how grateful he is not to be in the orphanage, etc, etc.".

As we were turning the corner, after crossing the bridge, I just couldn't contain myself for another minute. I blurted out, "what has he been saying to you this whole time?"

Anya says back to me, "He is telling me that he is so strong, he could jump off this bridge and swim across the entire river....from one side to the other".

Uh-huh....just the profound statements I imagined.

He's twelve. He's a boy. I know.

Just toss him another double stuff. Tell him the milk will make him even stronger.

One Month

We left America 1 month ago (32 days to be exact....but whose counting besides me?). This has been a big day on our "countdown" to coming home. Pa and I both have felt that when we got to this day, we would be over the hump. So we have been looking forward to September 10th, which also happens to be my mother-in-law's birthday - Happy Birthday Grandma Miller! (Ted...that's a subtle hint to make sure you call your mom! Just joking).

Valera And Vladik had a great time yesterday. Valera and I met the Warner's and Vladik at McDonalds for lunch, before we played a bunch of soccer. Valera and I collided at one point during our parents vs. kids game.

I am now a firm believer in the shin guard.

We walked to their apartment where the boys watched some of a movie, ate fruit, then we walked back to a park where the boys played. They met some other kids and started up a soccer game all together. They could have kept going but it was getting late and chilly.

I was so tired last night that I didn't even blog. Both Valera and I slept until 12:30 today. My dad was probably beginning to wonder if we were breathing!

Today, we did more of the same. Pa, Valera and I walked to the university soccer field. A gym class was going on so we decided to play off to the side again. We all took turns wearing the goalie gloves. The gloves are getting dirty and the ball a little "worn". While I was in goal today, Valera kicked a hard shot that I deflected with my left inner thigh.

I am now a firm believer in the thigh guard.

We came home from playing soccer and decided to play UNO. My dad had not yet joined in on the UNO action, and I decided that for our 1 month Anniversary of being in Ukraine, it was time to "let" him in on the fun. We kept tallies again. Pa won five, Valera won five, and I won one game.

During our UNO session, Valera got out dry cereal...little balls of vanilla and chocolate cereal. I had the bright idea of teaching Valera to throw a ball up into the air and to catch it with his mouth. By his success level, we don't think this was his experience. We started tossing the cereal balls up into the air for the others to catch. Valera thought this was hysterical. Cereal balls were all over the kitchen floor. Probably not the best thing to teach him....but on day 32, some things are worth the entertainment.

Tonight we went ice skating with Anya and Den. Valera barely gave me enough time to lace up his skates...he doesn't want to miss a second of the action. I decided to skate again. I am so glad I did...because a most wonderful thing happened:

Let me tell you first that when Valera skates....he is focused on a mission....to be the fastest skater out there. He doesn't make eye contact, smile for pictures, exchange pleasantries, etc. He wants to be the first one on the ice, and the last one off.

Let me also tell you that Valera does not show me much affection (I am ok with that...I know this is a process). When we go to hug at night, he just leans his head into me.  Sometimes when he is laying on the bed watching Tom and Jerry, I lay down next to him. He will slide away a little bit, if not leave the room entirely. With time, he has started letting his guard down ever so slightly.  During an UNO game recently, when tensions were getting high, he and I got nose to nose in a silly way as if to say, "ugghhh...I am taking you down". That was a big step.

So, tonight, Valera was skating past me as usual. I had been having a hard day - missing home, feeling scared about the future, etc. I tried to use this ice skating session to take a break from thinking about everything. I tried to just be in the moment. I enjoyed seeing him and another boy chase each other. I enjoyed watching him smile even when he was laying flat on the ice.

But I mostly enjoyed the feeling of Valera's hand on my back, just for 5 seconds, as he skated by me. An  intentional touch initiated by Valera.  While I need to guard my body parts from Valera's soccer tricks, I know that he needs to guard his heart, the way he has had to all these years. I am just so thankful for the small glimpses when I see him letting me in, even for just a moment.

A Day with Vladik

 

Today we had Vladik over to watch a movie and play while the Warners went back to the orphanage to spend time with the other boy they are adopting. Valera treated Vladik the way he treats the rest of us.  He covered him with the sheet, and served him food and drinks throughout the movie.  We played some UNO - we each won one a game so that worked out nicely. 

Pa and I took them ice skating.  Vladik had skated one other time but for the most part he was a beginner.  Pa helped him out.  At one point I was holding Vladik's hand and Valera skated up and held Vladik's other hand.  My dad was skating nearby, our eyes met and we shared the look of "is that not the sweetest thing?"  12 year olds in America more than likely wouldn't do that.  But this is probably what two 12 year old boys do who have grown up together in an orphanage.  They look out for one another.

Valera seemed pretty proud of himself that his skating has gotten so good.  At one point I even saw him pump his legs to the beat of the music (think roller rink you fellow 70's people).  It was a hoot!

At any rate, Anya, Den and the Warners met us at the rink at the end of our skating session.  We ate at the food court then me, Pa and Valera came back to our apartment.  We ate dinner here, watched Toy Story 2 (in Russian) then Valera took a shower.  I had told him after his shower he could watch Tom and Jerry on his ipod. Well, we couldn't find Tom and Jerry on YouTube so I just told him he would have to go to sleep.  He said, "no tom and jerry, no spot (which means sleep)".   He was not going to go to sleep, I couldn't figure out the ipod (have I mentioned I'm not good at technology?), I was panicing - not being able to communicate well.  My dad, poor guy, was watching two people who couldn't communicate run circles around each other (not literally...but almost).

I took a deep breath and tried to picture myself in Valera's shoes.  I said he could watch one short tom and jerry clip, then sleep.  I wasn't keeping my end of the bargain so he wasn't going to keep his.  I figured out how to find a clip...I went into his room to show him.  He came out from hiding under the sheets, smiled.  I apologized for not understanding.  He said, "it's o.k."  We watched 2 short clips and he went to sleep (at least I think so).

Now I sit on my bed trying to remind myself of all the good of the day, not the way the night ended.  Reminding myself that this was a learning experience.  See, for a perfectionist, this is tough work.  I KNOW I am not perfect, but I expect so much of myself - way more than I expect from anyone else. I am going to sleep with some verses on my forehead and under my chest - so that when I wake up in the morning my mind and my heart will cling to God's promise in Jeremiah 31:25 "I will refresh the weary..."

And as I sign off, I will rejoice in the fact that although I couldn't figure out the ipod temporarily (picture walkman in a belt around my waist...that's what we are working with here people), I am posting pictures on the blog without Ted's assistance. 

Progress....

Sweet Goodbyes

There are three sweet goodbyes that I wanted to share with you today:

1. My dad and Ted saying goodbye at the apartment. My dad said to Ted, "the next time we see you will be in America. What a glorious day it will be." Amen  to that!

2. Anya, Den, Valera and I went to the train station while my dad stayed at the apartment to rest. We walked Ted to the train and before Ted climbed aboard, he and Den not only shook hands but gave each other a big hug. A unique relationship had definitely formed.

3. Of course Valera and I gave Ted big hugs as well....but we know that we will be seeing him again. Anya got Ted settled in his seat while Den, Valera, and I stood on the ground, looking up at Ted in his window seat. I was blowing Ted kisses and out of the corner of my eye I could see Valera blowing him kisses too.

Ted had given Valera a piece of Bubblicious as he boarded the train..his new favorite gum...but since there was only one piece of gum and four of us....he insisted on one of us having it.  Den and Anya ended up splitting it.

As we drove away from the station, I felt a quiet strength. In a few weeks, we will be the ones hugging Den and Anya goodbye. We will be the ones blowing kisses (to Ukraine) - and yes.....it will be a most "glorious day!"

The Big Day

This is a long one....fair warning....

I was awake at 8 a.m. this morning, so excited for our big day. Ted, Pa and I got ready as we knew Anya and Den were picking us up at 11 a.m. Well, at 10:45 Valera was still asleep. I went in to wake him up and had to pull the sheets off of him after several attempts to get him up.

He put on the clothes I had picked out for him without complaint. He usually wears the same shorts every day, as he has come upon a pair he likes best. He didn't want anything to eat and when we got in the car he barely spoke even to Anya and Den, although he was polite.

Viktor met us at the court as he was planning on being our translator. I could tell Valera wasn't himself so I asked Viktor to talk with him. I sat in the chair, in the lobby of the court building, deep breathing and praying, and holding back the tears. I was wondering if Valera had cold feet.

Viktor came back into the lobby and explained that Valera was nervous about being in a courtroom, in front of a judge.

The brick on my chest lifted and I was able to breathe again.

We walked into a small courtroom where Viktor sat between Ted and me on the front row. Pa sat behind us. Valera and the social worker from his orphanage sat on the other side of the "aisle", behind two women who we
later found out made up the "jury".

The judge asked Ted and I a few questions, one question for each of us. We were instructed to stand up to speak with the judge. Valera was then asked if he was willing to be adopted by us, and that indeed he knew us. Valera answered "yes" to both questions and then we were dismissed.

We walked out of the building and before we knew it, we were taken to a pizza place to celebrate. Both Viktor and Anya had to help another family and do other business so we ate with Den....who called Anya to joke her that he was doing her job...translating for us. Just as we were about to order ice cream, Anya showed up with the family that is adopting Vladik, the other boy who we hosted in January. Vladik was with them.

Valera and Vladik gave each other a big hug. Anya told me later that they were saying "me going to America. You going to America. Yeah!".

Everyone exchanged hugs and started to share stories when Viktor announced that he had to take me and Ted to sign more paperwork. Pa and Valera came with us while Anya stayed with the Warners.

And I won't bore you with the details but my head is still spinning. Our backpacks were in one car, we were taken in another. There was "traffic" that our driver was determined to get around, along with every other driver. Valera was whisked away from his celebration, and his buddy. We went and sat in another lobby for a long time. Next thing we know the Warners are outside with Anya, who has to relieve Viktor, who has to take a train back to Kiev.

After that paperwork was complete, we joined Anya and the Warner's for a walk, and for the long awaited ice cream!

In one picture below you will notice that everyone's ice cream was delivered before Valera and Vladik's ...that's just not right.

At any rate, we finished the night with a movie. Valera tucked me and Pa in. He takes very good care of us. Then we played Jenga, UNO, and iPod games.

So....despite sore throats, coughs, eye infections, and a whole lot of other logistical details, today was a special day....one that I am sure will mean more and more to each of us as time goes by.

I think it's the rule follower in me....but once the ten days are up and we go back to court on Sept. 18th, I will feel like it is completely official.

Until then, we will continue to pray for God's will to be done, and will continue to love on Valera.

Ted is here

Just wanted to let you know that Ted is back at the apartment with us. Valera was so excited to see him. He showed Ted the new movies and books he got. Attached you will see the UNO tally sheet that we have been keeping. Valera was proud to show Ted that. Valera was cracking us up as he used his hands and sound effects to describe what it is like playing soccer with me, when I'm the goalie. It was like watching a mini Tom and Jerry episode. I had to defend myself
saying that Valera has a strong kick.

As we looked at the calendar and reminded Valera that we have court tomorrow, he put out two hands as if he were weighing the options. He said, "Ukraine...America" then he tipped the scale to America.

A great way to end the day.

Day 27

It was a quiet day. Valera never got out of his pajamas. With everyone not feeling great, we made it a movie marathon day. More Ratatouille (in Russian), and more Spiderman (in Russian).  Valera is certain to give each of us covers and pillows, food and drink. I am not sure if he enjoys the movie itself as much as he enjoys taking care of us.

I walked to the grocery store and decided to buy a new DVD...The Incredibles. When I got back from the store, I handed the movie to Valera and his facial expression was priceless. We watched it two times today...back to back. Although it was offered in a Russian translation as well, Valera chose the English version.   That was exciting.

I have fallen to the virus as well. More than the sore throat, my dad and I have sweats and chills...feeling clammy and run down. If Valera feels that way too, he hasn't described that to me. We have been without Anya since Monday so maybe he has more symptoms than I know of. But not wanting to play soccer, or UNO, is telling. (we did play two games today, I won both and he lost his gusto).

Ted should arrive around midnight which we are happy about. He was able to retrieve his luggage today. Praise God! He has peanut butter for us....we are lacking in the protein department here. Interesting fact about Ukraine - they have NO peanut butter. Lots of sunflower seeds though. Ukraine grows an enormous amount of sunflowers. It's actually very beautiful.

At any rate, tomorrow is our much awaited court appointment - 1 pm our time so 6 am east coast time.

Please pray that all goes according to God's plan and that we would feel up for the days events. It's at least an hour drive to court. In addition, please pray for my left eye. I have a sty or something on my eyelid...quite uncomfortable.



The adventure continues.....

Praises and Prayer Requests

Just wanted to tell you some of the things we are grateful for today:

Ted made it to Kiev finally. Lufthansa airline flight attendants went on strike today, canceling Ted's flight from Germany to Kiev. After this, that, and the other Ted arrived in Kiev tonight. He is sleeping right now I am certain.

Delaney and Mary Kate both had a great first day of school.  I got to Skype with them this afternoon and they were both so happy and energized.

Of course we are grateful for our good health overall, and are appreciative of the prayers and logistical help we are getting from so many people.

I made it a full day without playing one UNO game.

Valera and I were practicing writing letters tonight. I wrote his name, then he wrote mine. He must have known it from all the letters we wrote him. He spelled "Lisa" without my help. Then I wrote Miller and said, "Lisa Miller, Ted Miller, Delaney Miller, Mary Kate Miller" and before I could even continue on, he said, "Valera Miller".  Very happy moment for me.


Here are some specific prayer requests we have:

That Ted would get a good night sleep and that his appointment would go well with the Embassy tomorrow.

That Ted has deodorant in his backpack because his luggage did not arrive today. (Only kidding Tedster).

Please pray that Ted's luggage will arrive tomorrow, before he leaves to come to Donetsk.

That Pa and Valera would feel better. Both have sore throats and coughs. Den, our driver, was feeling sick a few days ago with the same type of thing. Den is a handshaker with the men, with every hello and goodbye. Need I say more?

For continued energy and courage.

Thanks so much!

Happy First Day of School

Just a quick note to wish you teachers and students a great first day of school! Delaney and Mary Kate, I love you so much and am praying for you both today! Kids of Grace family, I will miss being with you today!

Please pray for Ted. His flight from Germany to Kiev was cancelled. I can't get a hold of him but Viktor told me.

Love you all and am so appreciative of all the prayers and encouragement.

Love Continues to Show Up

I don't want to be one of those parents who only talks about how great their child is (in our case, our "hopefully soon to be child"). So I am going go share one of the challenges today. Pa, Valera, and I walked to a nearby soccer field this afternoon. On the way there I told Valera to "stop" as a car was coming but he crossed the street anyway. I saw a little smirk on his face as he crossed.....confirming that he heard me but chose not to listen. He ran ahead to the field while Pa and I slowly walked the path. We could see him the whole time, and I had the ball in my hands so he couldn't do much until I got there. When I approached him I said the best that I could, in my kind but firm voice, when I say 'stop', you need to 'stop'." 

He walked away and sat on a tree stump. Pa and I kicked the ball for a few minutes then Pa went to talk to Valera. Valera came over and said "sorry" then we all kicked the ball and had a great time. Valera wanted to play him vs. me and Pa. He giggled for 30 minutes straight. He was having such a good time.

Back to the point though...I could share various descriptions like this every night when I post. Each day I am tested in various ways by something Valera has done or said. He has left a peach pit in the couch cushion, drank soda when I told him not to, purposefully dealt the UNO cards such that he would have all "draw fours". He tells me he has washed his hands but when I do the "smell test", I can tell otherwise. None of these things may seem like a big deal - in fact, in and of themselves, they are NOT a big deal.

My dad and I were talking about this subject tonight, after dinner. Pa made a few comments that stuck out to me.  See, when I heard a song months ago at church, one line was "love is on its way". I immediately thought of Valera and wanted to shout from America to Ukraine: "love is on the way sweet boy!" When I thought of this phrase, I thought of it as a one time arrival - the day we picked him up from the orphanage. What my dad reminded me of tonight is that "love is on the way every day". Isn't this true for all parents? 

Well, it especially is for the parent of an orphan.  Valera has never been shown consistent, unconditional love. He doesn't know what it means to depend on someone. He has learned to "fend for himself". As much bonding as I like to think that we have been doing, we are still like strangers to him. How does he know that we will be kind to him? How does he know that he can trust us? How does he know that we will love him even when he disobeys?

I don't know the answers to these questions. But I think my dad is on to something. Especially in the life of an orphan, love has to "show up" every day, all day. And God-willing, one day at a time, Valera will truly experience what it means to be loved and to love.

(Please continue to lift us all up in prayer as you think of us. Ted will fly back to Ukraine tomorrow, although we will not see him until Wednesday night or Thursday morning. Please pray for travel mercies for him.)

The Joy of Skyping

We had a nice day. We went ice skating (actually just Pa and Valera skated) while Anya and I watched. We ate a quick dinner at the food court then went to another hockey game. We all noticed that Valera's skating was its best tonight. He seemed to get the hang of skating vs. running on blades. It was fun to watch.

The highlight of the day came just a little bit ago. We were Skyping with Ted at the same time Mary Kate was swimming in our pool. Usually Valera says hi to everyone on Skype but beyond that there isn't much he can say. Tonight was different though. Ted skyped on the back deck and turned the camera so that Valera could watch Mary Kate do a cannonball, a dive, a regular jump into the pool. Valera was actually counting as MK was about to jump in, "one, two, three" and she would jump. He gave her the thumbs up and said "America, me" then made the jumping in and swimming hand motions. 

He actually ran down the hall to the kitchen, where I have two calendars I made with markers - one for August, one for September - with pictures I drew on different days. For example, when Ted and the girls flew home there is an airplane, the days we've been ice skating I drew ice skates, etc. well, I have another airplane for when Ted comes back, a building for court, an American flag on the day we fly home, etc. 

Valera ran back to where I was Skyping with Ted, pointed at Ted and said "three days" and made an airplane motion. Then said "me, America" and held up ten fingers but flashing them twice as to say "twenty days".

During our Skype session tonight, Mary Kate's friend Kaitlyn walked in and Valera said, "hi Kaitlyn" (he had met her during a Skype session a few days ago).

The best part was that at some point during our Skype time, Valera asked, "Delaney dome?" which in English means, "is Delaney home?" That he was connecting the dots of who belongs in the family, who he wasn't seeing, and that he used his words to ask about her was just another thing to celebrate.

As we were about to say prayers, Valera jumped and rolled into bed...literally....saying "America".

Although with his accent he doesn't say the ending so it comes out like "Americ".

My description can't do justice to the excitement he was showing. My dad said it best tonight as we talked about it....it was as if Valera could picture himself "at home" being a part of it all.

As Valera said to Ted and Mary Kate tonight, "pleasant dreams".

p.s. In case it keeps you up at night, the new score in UNO is:

Valera 130

Mom.    60